6 Ft Over Drops Yellowbook

6 Ft Over notched their 2nd win of the season over Team Yellowbook Tuesday night at Stony Point. In a game marred by excessive fouling 6 Ft Over pulled away in the 2nd half to a fairly easy victory.

Tuesdays game was the second straight played without former starting swing man Richard “Dick” Dengler.
Richard has determined that pursuing a degree in child development that will send him right to the end of the unemployment line, is more important than Tuesday night recreational basketball.

Dengler’s defensive presence was missed in the 1st half as Yellowbook stayed close due to the play of their bald guard Don Carlson. Carlson deftly sliced through 6 Ft Over’s defense and dropped in multiple long range bombs that kept Yellowbook within a point or two the entire 1st half.

An unfortunate trend has developed during recent 6 Ft Over contests. Some of the lesser skilled teams that can’t match 6 Ft Over’s below average athleticism and size, have resorted to committing an unusually high amount of fouls. Nick Hach usually bears the brunt of the contact as he is routinely mauled by 3 or 4 players at a time who all expressive extreme frustration when fouls are called. One particularly humorous strategy deployed Tuesday was to match an overweight 5’6 guy wearing a worn out Jordan Wizards jersey against the taller Hach. Play was stopped several possessions in a row as Yellowbook intentionally fouled play after play.

Yellowbook’s best player Carlson left at halftime to attend a bachelor party and his team quickly fell apart. Without Carlson Yellowbook’s offense became completely bogged down and shots they were making in the 1st half started falling short. Their defense could not stop back cutting in the 2nd half as Hasenmiller and Shupert routinely beat their man back door for easy lay ups. As the flood gates opened Nick Hach found time to throw down 4 monster dunks in the 2nd half over his talentless muscle bound defender.

6 Ft Over found themselves in an unusual position when they chose to milk the clock in the closing minutes. Yellowbook threw in a few garbage time buckets that made the final score a respectable 84-70.

NOTES : 6 Ft Over made a quick roster move Tuesday night when they added a free agent who goes by the name “Charlie”. Charlie will replace Richard Dengler in the lineup starting next week. Not much is known about Charlie except he isn’t good enough to play on Hach’s “other” pickup basketball team.

Dengler Out for Season

Richard Dengler confirmed over the lunch hour that he will be out for the remainder of the season. It has been rumored since Dengler’s bizarre disappearance last week that he would not be back with 6 Ft Over this season. The internet has been buzzing since Dengler’s surprise announcement.

All 6 Ft Over management can confirm at this time is that Dengler’s scholarship will remain in force until the start of the Aegon Fall League and will be re-evaluated at that time. Management stated they are in the process of recruiting a replacement.

Rumors have circulated that Dengler may have checked into a clinic that treats obsessive bill cancelling disease, a disorder that effects 1 in 5,000 Americans.

Teammate Jeff Reiners suggested to the AP that Dengler has become disillusioned with basketball after his poor shot selection almost cost his team a game 3 weeks ago.

A source speaking on a condition of anonymity informed that Dengler may have been suspended for the year. The source went on to state that team officials were baffled last week when Dengler claimed to have been at school all day when classes at the University of Iowa didn’t begin until yesterday.

What Dengler really was doing?

The AP conducted an investigation into Richard's whereabouts Tuesday night. He was no where to be found at the YMCA and claimed that he was doing homework all day which caused him to forget about the basketball game. AP sources said that regular classes don't start at the University of Iowa until Tuesday, August 25th.

It has been said before, "With no school or full time job, it is hard to imagine what exactly makes Rich so busy."

Here are some theories of what Rich may have actually been doing Tuesday night.

1.) Reading his textbooks prior to class starting to get a head start on his peers.

2.) Studying Aeronautics to gauge a potential change in majors.

3.) Calling to cancel more bills that are registered to homes on 47th Street.

4.) Shoveling girls into his car after a night at Brothers.

5.) Volunteering down at the local shelter feeding soup to the homeless.

6.) Mapping out the number of steps from his class rooms to the Airliner.

7.) Calling Aliant Energy to make sure they shut of electricity in his IC apartment the day before he moves out next year.

8.) Stuffing his face with a Baconator extra large value meal with a side of large chili and frosty

9.) Spending hundreds of dollars a month on getting a buzz cut that he could probably do himself.

10.) Being a great role model for underprivileged kids by dressing up in a Snow White gown.

6 Ft Over Demolished 133-80

6 Ft Over's summer season is truly in disarray after the whipping handed to them by Team "Hello Kitty" Tuesday night. The 8:30 start created attendance problems for two key contributors, Nich Hach and Richard Dengler. For Hach, 8:30 was past his bedtime. Dengler's excuse was that he was working on school work all day and forgot about the game. This was interesting when you take into consideration that classes at Iowa don't start until next week. What exactly was the young Dengler working on one must wonder.

Truth be told it wouldn't have mattered if the full squad showed up as the game was a total mismatch. Hello Kitty trotted out a starting lineup of 4 shirtless 16 year old kids who were all 6'5 and above and had obviously all played organized basketball together for a long time. Every single one of the kids was lengthy and quick, two traits not possessed by Reiners, Hasenmiller or Shupert.

When it came time to play and 6 Ft Over had only 3 "live" bodies Shupert went into the crowd and recruited a athletic PG that said he "was in shape and played at Kirkwood." That sounded good enough to qualify as a honorary member of 6 Ft Over. As the game started it was obvious "K-Wood" was on a completely different level than any of his teammates. He gladly launched 6 Ft Over's first dozen shots and made most of them. After a competitive start, Hello Kitty's huge advantages at 3 of the 4 positions became apparent and they jumped out to a 20 or 30 point lead.

Next weeks 6:30 start hopefully will draw the entire squad. The opponent will be Team "Yellow Book" which beat 6 Ft Over last season with a buzzer beater.

6 Ft Over Prevails in OT Thriller

Uncle Fester popped another 3 and sent Team Josiah's home crown into wild celebration as his team pulled away Tuesday night. 6 Ft over saw it slipping away and defeat was imminent. The worst team in the league, led by Fester and his band of goons, had their first victory in sight.

Team Josiah was thoroughly embarrassed by 6 Ft Over in a previous match up and came to play with a tough, physical and borderline dirty style. Everyone expected Uncle Fester to play physically and foul out within the games first 6 minutes and Fester provided no surprises. It was a surprise that a few of Josiah's new acquisitions were real bangers. There was a big bodied man with "Ibanez" on his shirt that knocked everyone down that got in his way. His tough play was surprising given that when he spoke he sounded like Mike Tyson's daughter. There was another rotund post player who easily was 300+ that threatened to "lay out" Aaron Shupert if he dared to bounce an elbow off any of his jelly rolls.

The physical nature of the contest created a testy atmosphere especially when 6 Ft Over players called fouls on consecutive possessions. Team Josiah's complaining reached the ridiculous level when Nick Hach was close lined on a fast break. The opposition expressed surprise that the game was stopped for fouling as the 6'6 Hach picked himself off of the ground.

The endgame of Tuesday's contest was a roller coaster. Neither team could put the other away. Uncle Fester was on fire from downtown and hit a big 3 pointer with a minute and a half to go. Team Josiah's players all brought their wives, girlfriends, kids, friends kids, aunts and uncles to the game and they were really into the action which made it seem like a real game. A clutch Hasenmiller 3 pointer silenced the crowd and tied the game with a minute to go.

Fester scored again in the paint, 6 Ft Over was thwarted on offense and was forced to foul down 2. The winless Team Josiah then demonstrated why they were winless by missing two free throws and giving 6 Ft Over another chance. Nick Hach tied it with a bank shot from the baseline and then 6 Ft Over got another stop with 30 seconds to go and a chance at the last shot. Richard Dengler admitted that his head wasn't entirely in the game because of the release of this photograph prior to tip off.



The embarrassment caused him to lift a cringe inducing 16 footer with 30 seconds still left on the clock in the tie ball game. Dengler's shot missed but 6 Ft Over clamped down on D and forced another Team Josiah miscue.

With three seconds to go 6 Ft Over setup a play which called for Jeff Reiners to run his man off of two baseline screens for a catch and shoot. Reiners received the pass and instantly handed the pressure of taking the last shot back to Hasenmiller. Justin got a good look, but just missed it off to the side. It was time for some OT.

YMCA officials were scrambling to find a rule book when the score remained tied at the end of regulation. It was the first overtime game the YMCA scorekeeper had seen in years. At first it appeared that the YMCA was making up the overtime rules as they went along, but apparently the rule book calls for a 2 minute period to decide a winner.

The OT period quickly turned into a free throw shooting contest which ultimately favored 6 Ft Over. Dengler easily made up for his earlier shot selection by clamping down on D and hitting the offensive glass. Shupert tapped a late missed free throw back to Dengler who made an easy lay up that essentially ended the game. The home crowd left bitterly as it had appeared Team Josiah had their first victory.

Next weeks match up is at 8:30 against Team "Hello Kitty".

6 Ft Over Drops 2nd Straight

6 Ft Over is off to another slow start in the YMCA Summer League. All 5 members of the team showed up for last nights showdown which was a remarkable achievement. Of course the opposition came to Stoney Point with 8 fresh bodies that were all adept at cutting without the ball and fouling Nick Hach when he went to work in the post.

The employees out at the Stoney Point Y like to keep the temperature in their gym hovering around a cool 120 degrees on summer evenings. Last night they dropped the temperature to a chilly 105 degrees and the difference was very apparent.

The Wisconsin Badgers blitzed 6 Ft Over from the onset and led comfortably throughout the first half. The Badgers maintained a double digit lead due to their hot outside shooting and the play of their biracial Center who was outfitted like Jim Carey was during the basketball scene in "The Cable Guy."

Hasenmiller hit a few open 3 pointers in the 1st half when his man left to double team Hach and had a few of his layup attempts blocked when he drove in amongst the trees. Shupert also struggled to get his shot off under the basket against "The Cable Guy", but did show off a surprising touch from outside.

Dengler hit the offensive glass hard and guarded the oppositions best shooter well. The young forward did not look for his shot when he had the ball and opted to dribble around the perimeter in an unpredictable manner.

Reiners was his normal streaky self from outside and was only motivated when matched against the Wisconsin Badger that sported a Ohio State Buckeye shirt. The Buckeye/Badger would stare his defender down in the eye as he dribbled implying that he was a baller that could go wherever he wanted to with the rock. The only problem was that he wasn't that good of a ball handler and was easily thwarted by the slow footed Reiners.

Nick Hach dropped a bucket in at the 1st half buzzer which narrowed the deficit to 11. 6 Ft Over then made their typical 2nd half push and when Aaron Shupert dropped in a rainbow 3 the lead was down to 6.

"You guys have got the magic," Richard Dengler said from the bench as the lead dwindled.

It was not to be, however, as the Badgers used their energy and off the ball movement to free themselves for several easy buckets that closed out 6 Ft Over.

Next week brings Team Josiah who 6 Ft Over easily defeated during the last session.