6 Ft Over is Back!!!

Taking the court tonight for the first time in over 10 months will be 6 Ft Over! Fans may recall the legendary franchise was hit with the “death penalty” in February of this year when the team was discovered to have used ineligible players in competition.

After accepting a one season ban from the Aegon Competitive League 6 Ft Over is back and might be better than ever. Basketball fans may think Pat Riley and the Miami Heat scored the biggest free agent coup this summer. They are wrong. That distinction belongs to 6 Ft Over GM Jeff Reiners. On July 1st, the first day of NBA free agency, Reiners struck up a friendly drunken conversation at Jerseys with one Tyler Albers. Albers, a former Jefferson J-Hawk, was humored by Reiners comparing him to LeBron James and agreed right then and there to join 6 Ft Over.

Albers brings a dribble drive game to 6 Ft Over they’ve never had before. He joins a team ready to dominate and guarantees nobody in the league can stop him Former 6 Ft Over MVP Aaron Shupert calls Albers, “the best player I’ve ever played with.”

Reiners wasn’t done this off season and also convinced Albers' friend, star guard Alex Bradford to join forces on 6 Ft Over.
(this part is somewhat made up but makes for a good story)

Bradford was 2nd team All-Competitive League last year and brings his considerable talents to the once floundering franchise. Can 6 Ft Over make it work though? Can a team less than a year removed from suspension come together and win in the viscous Aegon Competitive League? Albers and Bradford will have the green light to take 6 Ft Over back to the top.

A few familiar faces remain. GM/Coach Jeff Reiners is back again as a player. Fans may not recognize Reiners this season as he appears to have added 15-20 lbs of fat since we last saw him on the court. Reiners claims to have changed his game and no longer is the distance shooter from years past. Look for Jeff to do a little work on the boards because of the teams overall lack of height and size.

6 Ft Over career leader in DNP’s Brock Ryan is onboard for his 4th different stint with the team. Ryan credits a new kickboxing routine for the resurrection of his basketball career. Claims that Ryan was brought on board purely for the purpose of ticket sales have not been proven. Brock promises to give it the old “Ryan Try” in an effort to capture his first championship.

Justin Hasenmiller has become Mr. Reliable on 6 Ft Over. Back for another campaign is the guard that once led his beloved franchise to victory over the YMCA All-Stars in 2009.

Ever the team player, Hasenmiller should fit in nicely with new teammates who can actually create their own shot. The team may also turn to the 5’9 Hasenmiller for rebounding help as he’s proven to be effective on the glass.

6 Ft Over will honor one of the franchise’s all time greats during a ceremony between games one and two. Former Rec League MVP and 6 Ft Over’s career scoring leader Aaron Shupert will watch as his jersey is retired at the Edgewood Campus’ 5th floor gym. Shupert remains in relative exile these days. Still fit and ready to play, Shupert’s eligibility came in to question before the season opener last winter. He will not comment on the eligibility matter citing legal concerns. Rumors persist that Shupert will be making spot appearances at 6 Ft Over home games in hopes of being able to sneak by security and onto the floor.

Former YMCA All-Star Holds Down CR

Back in the summer of 2009 a young 6Ft Over squad faced the YMCA All-Stars led by Trent Gaines.  Trent aka PHARAOH T.GAINE$ is known around the Cedar Rapids streetball community as one of the better ballers around.  That, however, did not stop 6Ft Over from stopping Trent and the YMCA All-Stars and getting the win that day.

Now AllHipHop.com is reporting that the former YMCA star has punked out a former G-Unit member, snatched his chain and run him out of town.

"UH OH. I have multiple sources that have indicated that Young Buck ran into some problems in Iowa on Saturday night. This is not good rumors/news. I heard he was performing and a fight broke out and all hell broke loose. When it was all said and done, Buck's chain had gotten swiped. Now, my sources say some dudes have it and are running in the streets with it. This show went down in Cedar Rapids.

Source said "yo all hip hop what it look like... to get strait to the point young buck had a show in cedar rapids Iowa Saturday night the 10th in which local rap star and the man that runs the state PHARAOH T.GAINE$ also performing that night, so to make a long story short young bucks home girl starts talkin s**tto T.Gaine$ and he checks her so buck chimes in and T.Gaine$ says to him n***a u in my state i'll run u and yo crew up out here!!!! the chick says somethin and T.Gaine$ gives a female a signal and all the sudden she starts scrappin young bucks girl up then points at buck and says n***a u wanna get yo ass scrapped up to and jumps on stage while recording with a camera, buck being a smart hood n***a says lets ride and takes off and T.Gaine$ jumps on the mic and tells him he better not be at his own after party with all that tough talk otherwise u gettin scrapped up."

DAMNATION...THE RUMORS ARE TRUE! Well, I don't have a true confirmation, but sources are coming out of the woodwork. The latest is that Buck was relieved of a lot of his stuff, including the chain in question. Apparently, this happened at the back of the venue right before he was to get in his van to leave. Some big time rapper named Big Bang of Cedar Rapids, Iowa is looking to help Buck get his stuff back intact. Apparently, Buck is coming back in town to get his stuff. I love how, in Hip-Hop, somebody has to talk to somebody to get somebody's stuff back for them."

Trent's brother WIl Gaines was also a former member of 6Ft Over. Does this mean the team might be implicated as a part of this act? I doubt it, but it is amazing the connections 6Ft Over has developed with the Cedar Rapids rap scene.  Look out for Trent Gaine$ either on the mic punking you out or in the gym dropping jumpers in your eye.

Ex 6 Ft Over Players Move On

Former 6 Ft Over players Jeff Reiners and Justin Hasenmiller will suit up tonight in rival colors for the first time.  "It's going to be strange and will probably take some time to get used to," said former 6 Ft Over coach Jeff Reiners. With the original team in shambles former players have been scrambling to find a team to catch on with.  Jon Fortune, the GM of Team Fortune came calling early last week and offered his final two rosters spots to the aging veterans. "Our loyalties still are with the original 6 Ft Over but as they say this is a business," added Reiners.

Both Reiners and Hasenmiller could be key role players for a potential title run. 6 Ft Over's title chances were slim but Team Fortune may just have the right mix to capture the Competitive League title in 2010.  "At my age I can't carry a team like I once could. I'm happy to provide a little spark and not do too much scoring. All I want is that ring," said Justin Hasenmiller.  Reiners isn't sure of his future beyond this season. The stunning disqualification of his beloved franchise has made him reconsider his looming retirement.  "I'd love to get the original guys back together for one last go of it. We'll see if they lift our ban before next October."

Other former 6 Ft Over players have been spotted around town in recent days.

*Richard Dengler has been playing Monday nights at the Iowa City Fieldhouse. He also has been seen getting turned down by numerous women outside of the downtown Fieldhouse.

*Aaron Shupert continues to play his part for the Tailgators version of 6 Ft Over in the Marion YMCA league. He also has been spotted getting kicked out of numerous downtown Cedar Rapids nightspots in recent weeks.

*Former statistician Brock Ryan hasn't been seen on any courts recently, except for the court of law.

*JR Russell still is a bartender and still insists he played legally in the AEGON competitive league last session.

*Nick "Big Cock" Hach is still dunking and getting into foul arguments in the Marion Y league. And yes ladies....there is a reason behind the nickname.

*One time fill in Michael Y's wife is still alive. Barely.

*The Guatemalen Gunner still is developing his game with the Guatemalen National Team.

*Troy Eaves has taken his "Eavesdrop" to Chicago. Rumor has it he has been making babies and practicing his 35 foot rainbows that go in more than his layups.

*The former KWood baller who scored all of our points one night has not been seen in months. Don't bother looking for him on KWood's roster either because he doesn't play there. Liar. A good player though.

*The Mysterious Charlie was gone as soon as he arrived. No sightings since August.

*Orginal 6 Ft Over player Corey T still works at AEGON and still refuses to acknowledge that we know of each other. No eye contact, no hello is his motto.

*David, the left handed player with no game from 6 Ft Over's inagural campaign is no longer listed in the AEGON directory. Lay offs are a bitch.

*Adam "Lights Out" Olson is currently spending his down time at Tailgators headquarters dancing to Miley Cyrus "Party in the USA".

Team Winner of 2 Straight

6Ft Over Tailgators won for the second time in as many weeks this Wednesday night bringing their season record to 4-2.  The team is delighted to have a winning record for the first time since the days of the AEGON Rec League.  Their last two opponents, Rush, and 3 Rivers Legend, were no match for the squad led by Tyler Albers and JR Russel.  With only 3 games left this season, things look good for the squad finishing above .500.

There is, however, one looming make-up game scheduled at the end of the season that could spell trouble of the proud team.  This game is tentatively penciled in for March 17th.  As many drunks and Irishmen might already know, March 17th just happens to be St. Patrick's Day.  For a team littered with both drunks and Irish, this could spell disaster if the game is enforced.  Forward Nick "Big Cock" Hach has already committed to a drunken may-lay at Tailgators headquarters during the proposed game time.  Shupert, Russel, and Hasenmiller also will be indulging in the life of the Irish and will definitely not be suiting up sober, even if a winning record is on the line.


Back in 2009, 6Ft Over found themselves in similar circumstances.  Coach Jeff Reiners and star forward Aaron Shupert were spotted boozing down at a local pub right before tip-off of a regular season game.  Not only did they play well, the team destroyed their competition in what is now only referred to as the "St. Patties Day Massacre".  Hopefully the team will still have a little luck of the Irish left in them this year as they most certinly will need it.

No Love for 6Ft Over Tailgators

Wednesday, after the tragic news that the team would no longer be able to compete in the Aegon League, 6Ft Over Tailgators came out as flat as Kevin Durant's stomach.  Nothing was working for the club as they were run off the court by Bosh Financial. Bosh was led by former Kennedy High school sensation Chad Gehrls as well as other varsity players from the '03 Kennedy class. 

6Ft Over Tailgators had 7 players show up for the game but it didnt help.  No matter who they put on the floor, they were easily beat off the dribble or would just be embarrassed by having a shot drained in their face.  Toward the end of the game with victory completely out of hand, down by 30, some members of 6Ft Over Tailgators tried to turn the game into a dunk contest.

The dunk contest really just turned out to be embarrassing for all parties involved.  Bosh Financial just stood around and laughed as Nick "Big Cock" Hach and newly acquired Will (who you might remember from the YMCA All-Star team that 6Ft Over beat last summer) attempted weak dunk after weak dunk, bouncing the ball off the rim more often then not.

"It was pretty pathetic", one member of Bosch financial said after the game, "We just let them make a fool of themselves, we thought it was pretty funny".  After the game neither Hach or Will had any comments about their dunk contest.  However, Hach shouldn't be to blame for his poor showing in the contest as he hasn't been listening to team doctors and has been having sex almost daily.  One team doctor estimated that Hach's testosterone levels are so depleted right now that has completely disabled his jumping ability.

Meanwhile other members of 6Ft Over Tailgators, including forward Aaron Shupert were just wishing they could have been apart of the contest and had the ability to even slam the basketball off of rim. "Man, I wish I could still jump like Hach", Shupert said, "It would be cool to be able to dunk, no matter how weak it was".

6Ft Over's Darkest Hour

6 Ft Over has been disbanded due to numerous recruiting violations that were uncovered last night at approximately 5:35 CSD. All players were released from contract and are free to sign with other teams. Competitive League officials have handed down the "death penalty" to what was once a proud program.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_penalty_(NCAA)

The severity of the punishment is due to the discovery that 6 Ft Over has fielded a team full of ineligible, non-aegon employees for the past few seasons. Forward Aaron Shupert insists that he was indeed an eligible player throughout his illustrious career. Shupert claims he is locked in holy matrimony with a Morgan L Ryan who has been verified as a Aegon employee. Since spouses were once (but no longer) eligible for league play,Shupert says he will fight hard to keep his league records, including a championship and a MVP award. Shupert has been unable to substantiate his marriage claim.

Long time 6 Ft Over GM Jeff Reiners announced his resignation effective immediately. It will be up to someone else to clean up the mess that once was a proud recreational basketball club.

"I knew this day would come. We've been toeing that line for quite a while. It was just a matter of time before someone stepped in a said "That's Enough." 

6 Ft Over's official response to the league's accusations came in the form of this crudely written resignation from GM Jeff Reiners

"We will not be taking the seriousness of these violations lightly therefore we feel that the death penalty is the only appropriate form of punishment," said a league source.

The league offered no comment as to the length of the ban. As for 6 Ft Over's lone championship and other records?

"Those banners up there, those are all coming down."

February 1st, 2010 goes down as the darkest day in 6 Ft Over history.

OPENING DAY STUNNER; RUSSELL TO SIT, DENGLER BREAKS CONTRACT!

Breaking News

6 Ft Over starting guard JR Russell will not play tonight in the season opener. In a move announced just hours before the start of the 2010 Spring Season the team has asked Russell to sit out the opener while the investigation into his eligibility continues.

"It's just too much of a distraction right now," said GM Jeff Reiners.

In another breaking news story it was discovered today that former 6 Ft Over swingman Richard "Dick" Dengler has decided to void his lifetime contract to join a U of I Fieldhouse team in Iowa City. Whether or not 6 Ft Over will release him from his contractual obligation has not been revealed. The team did not officially comment on Dengler other than to state that they were disappointed with young Richard's "direction".

With the team short handed for tonight's opener recruiting coordinator Aaron Shupert has been scrambling to find extra bodies. The Guatemalan Gunner Marco De Leon unfortunately is not available as a late sub. (For the record 6 Ft Over is 0-8 historically when The Gunner sees action).

You may remember last season Mike filled in admirably when the team was short handed. Mike has been signed on for another shot at glory tonight. Fans of 6 Ft Over should be happy to know that Mike's wife continues her courageous fight against cancer. Her ongoing battle has freed up Mike to participate in recreational basketball games and to pursue healthy women at local CR nightspots.