Ex 6 Ft Over Players Move On

Former 6 Ft Over players Jeff Reiners and Justin Hasenmiller will suit up tonight in rival colors for the first time.  "It's going to be strange and will probably take some time to get used to," said former 6 Ft Over coach Jeff Reiners. With the original team in shambles former players have been scrambling to find a team to catch on with.  Jon Fortune, the GM of Team Fortune came calling early last week and offered his final two rosters spots to the aging veterans. "Our loyalties still are with the original 6 Ft Over but as they say this is a business," added Reiners.

Both Reiners and Hasenmiller could be key role players for a potential title run. 6 Ft Over's title chances were slim but Team Fortune may just have the right mix to capture the Competitive League title in 2010.  "At my age I can't carry a team like I once could. I'm happy to provide a little spark and not do too much scoring. All I want is that ring," said Justin Hasenmiller.  Reiners isn't sure of his future beyond this season. The stunning disqualification of his beloved franchise has made him reconsider his looming retirement.  "I'd love to get the original guys back together for one last go of it. We'll see if they lift our ban before next October."

Other former 6 Ft Over players have been spotted around town in recent days.

*Richard Dengler has been playing Monday nights at the Iowa City Fieldhouse. He also has been seen getting turned down by numerous women outside of the downtown Fieldhouse.

*Aaron Shupert continues to play his part for the Tailgators version of 6 Ft Over in the Marion YMCA league. He also has been spotted getting kicked out of numerous downtown Cedar Rapids nightspots in recent weeks.

*Former statistician Brock Ryan hasn't been seen on any courts recently, except for the court of law.

*JR Russell still is a bartender and still insists he played legally in the AEGON competitive league last session.

*Nick "Big Cock" Hach is still dunking and getting into foul arguments in the Marion Y league. And yes ladies....there is a reason behind the nickname.

*One time fill in Michael Y's wife is still alive. Barely.

*The Guatemalen Gunner still is developing his game with the Guatemalen National Team.

*Troy Eaves has taken his "Eavesdrop" to Chicago. Rumor has it he has been making babies and practicing his 35 foot rainbows that go in more than his layups.

*The former KWood baller who scored all of our points one night has not been seen in months. Don't bother looking for him on KWood's roster either because he doesn't play there. Liar. A good player though.

*The Mysterious Charlie was gone as soon as he arrived. No sightings since August.

*Orginal 6 Ft Over player Corey T still works at AEGON and still refuses to acknowledge that we know of each other. No eye contact, no hello is his motto.

*David, the left handed player with no game from 6 Ft Over's inagural campaign is no longer listed in the AEGON directory. Lay offs are a bitch.

*Adam "Lights Out" Olson is currently spending his down time at Tailgators headquarters dancing to Miley Cyrus "Party in the USA".

Team Winner of 2 Straight

6Ft Over Tailgators won for the second time in as many weeks this Wednesday night bringing their season record to 4-2.  The team is delighted to have a winning record for the first time since the days of the AEGON Rec League.  Their last two opponents, Rush, and 3 Rivers Legend, were no match for the squad led by Tyler Albers and JR Russel.  With only 3 games left this season, things look good for the squad finishing above .500.

There is, however, one looming make-up game scheduled at the end of the season that could spell trouble of the proud team.  This game is tentatively penciled in for March 17th.  As many drunks and Irishmen might already know, March 17th just happens to be St. Patrick's Day.  For a team littered with both drunks and Irish, this could spell disaster if the game is enforced.  Forward Nick "Big Cock" Hach has already committed to a drunken may-lay at Tailgators headquarters during the proposed game time.  Shupert, Russel, and Hasenmiller also will be indulging in the life of the Irish and will definitely not be suiting up sober, even if a winning record is on the line.


Back in 2009, 6Ft Over found themselves in similar circumstances.  Coach Jeff Reiners and star forward Aaron Shupert were spotted boozing down at a local pub right before tip-off of a regular season game.  Not only did they play well, the team destroyed their competition in what is now only referred to as the "St. Patties Day Massacre".  Hopefully the team will still have a little luck of the Irish left in them this year as they most certinly will need it.

No Love for 6Ft Over Tailgators

Wednesday, after the tragic news that the team would no longer be able to compete in the Aegon League, 6Ft Over Tailgators came out as flat as Kevin Durant's stomach.  Nothing was working for the club as they were run off the court by Bosh Financial. Bosh was led by former Kennedy High school sensation Chad Gehrls as well as other varsity players from the '03 Kennedy class. 

6Ft Over Tailgators had 7 players show up for the game but it didnt help.  No matter who they put on the floor, they were easily beat off the dribble or would just be embarrassed by having a shot drained in their face.  Toward the end of the game with victory completely out of hand, down by 30, some members of 6Ft Over Tailgators tried to turn the game into a dunk contest.

The dunk contest really just turned out to be embarrassing for all parties involved.  Bosh Financial just stood around and laughed as Nick "Big Cock" Hach and newly acquired Will (who you might remember from the YMCA All-Star team that 6Ft Over beat last summer) attempted weak dunk after weak dunk, bouncing the ball off the rim more often then not.

"It was pretty pathetic", one member of Bosch financial said after the game, "We just let them make a fool of themselves, we thought it was pretty funny".  After the game neither Hach or Will had any comments about their dunk contest.  However, Hach shouldn't be to blame for his poor showing in the contest as he hasn't been listening to team doctors and has been having sex almost daily.  One team doctor estimated that Hach's testosterone levels are so depleted right now that has completely disabled his jumping ability.

Meanwhile other members of 6Ft Over Tailgators, including forward Aaron Shupert were just wishing they could have been apart of the contest and had the ability to even slam the basketball off of rim. "Man, I wish I could still jump like Hach", Shupert said, "It would be cool to be able to dunk, no matter how weak it was".

6Ft Over's Darkest Hour

6 Ft Over has been disbanded due to numerous recruiting violations that were uncovered last night at approximately 5:35 CSD. All players were released from contract and are free to sign with other teams. Competitive League officials have handed down the "death penalty" to what was once a proud program.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_penalty_(NCAA)

The severity of the punishment is due to the discovery that 6 Ft Over has fielded a team full of ineligible, non-aegon employees for the past few seasons. Forward Aaron Shupert insists that he was indeed an eligible player throughout his illustrious career. Shupert claims he is locked in holy matrimony with a Morgan L Ryan who has been verified as a Aegon employee. Since spouses were once (but no longer) eligible for league play,Shupert says he will fight hard to keep his league records, including a championship and a MVP award. Shupert has been unable to substantiate his marriage claim.

Long time 6 Ft Over GM Jeff Reiners announced his resignation effective immediately. It will be up to someone else to clean up the mess that once was a proud recreational basketball club.

"I knew this day would come. We've been toeing that line for quite a while. It was just a matter of time before someone stepped in a said "That's Enough." 

6 Ft Over's official response to the league's accusations came in the form of this crudely written resignation from GM Jeff Reiners

"We will not be taking the seriousness of these violations lightly therefore we feel that the death penalty is the only appropriate form of punishment," said a league source.

The league offered no comment as to the length of the ban. As for 6 Ft Over's lone championship and other records?

"Those banners up there, those are all coming down."

February 1st, 2010 goes down as the darkest day in 6 Ft Over history.

OPENING DAY STUNNER; RUSSELL TO SIT, DENGLER BREAKS CONTRACT!

Breaking News

6 Ft Over starting guard JR Russell will not play tonight in the season opener. In a move announced just hours before the start of the 2010 Spring Season the team has asked Russell to sit out the opener while the investigation into his eligibility continues.

"It's just too much of a distraction right now," said GM Jeff Reiners.

In another breaking news story it was discovered today that former 6 Ft Over swingman Richard "Dick" Dengler has decided to void his lifetime contract to join a U of I Fieldhouse team in Iowa City. Whether or not 6 Ft Over will release him from his contractual obligation has not been revealed. The team did not officially comment on Dengler other than to state that they were disappointed with young Richard's "direction".

With the team short handed for tonight's opener recruiting coordinator Aaron Shupert has been scrambling to find extra bodies. The Guatemalan Gunner Marco De Leon unfortunately is not available as a late sub. (For the record 6 Ft Over is 0-8 historically when The Gunner sees action).

You may remember last season Mike filled in admirably when the team was short handed. Mike has been signed on for another shot at glory tonight. Fans of 6 Ft Over should be happy to know that Mike's wife continues her courageous fight against cancer. Her ongoing battle has freed up Mike to participate in recreational basketball games and to pursue healthy women at local CR nightspots.

Spring 2010 Competitve League Preview

With the long winter off season finally over it's time for a new season of basketball! 6 Ft Over presented by Tailgators enters the 2010 campaign with high hopes. After a slow start caused them to miss out on the 2009 Winter playoffs the team is focused and starting just as fast as they finished last season.

6 Ft Over presented by Tailgators looks to make the competitive league playoffs for the 1st time in franchise history.

"Rec league MVP's, beating the YMCA All Stars, Rec League champion...all that shit don't mean nothin' said 6th year forward Aaron Shupert.

"The goal is to make the playoffs and win the damn thing."

Shupert has comitted himself to an unusual cross training regiment that he insists has him ready for the season. Instead of working on post moves Shupert has decided that boxing will make him better in the paint. The forward has also been spotted on weekday mornings outside of an aerobics class called "Extreme Body Shaping." He hopes that the added flexibility will limit his trips to the DL this season.

You may remember last Spring Season saw Shupert at odds with management over his much delayed eye surgery. This off season also had it's share of controversy.

In early January Shupert was accused of serious recruiting violations that centered around his desire to stack 6 Ft Over with 3 or 4 former college players none of which were qualified for AEGON league play. 6 Ft Over's questionable acquisition of guard JR Russell is still being independently investigated by the league office.

Shupert refused to comment specifically on the accusations but did say that he will be ready for the season despite the distractions.

JR Russel is on board for a full season this time around. His addition helped spur 6 Ft Over's late season playoff push last year. The point guard makes his teammates better and pushes the pace of the game.

A fast past game might not be to the benefit of newly reinstated player coach Jeff Reiners. Reiners, fresh off his suspension from the YMCA version of 6 Ft Over, stumbles into what may be his final season. At age 28 he appears to have lost a step. Gone are the days when the 17 year old string bean galloped up and down the court. Nowadays Reiners drifts to the perimeter, looking for a jumpshot that may never return.

"I'll take a look at it after the season. When your my age your body speaks to you. So when I ask the legs if there is another season left, hopefully they'll tell me come March," said the grizzled veteran of 6 AEGON seasons.

"It's been a great run, we'll just have to wait and see."

Back in his familiar off guard role will be Justin Hasenmiller. JR's precense took Justin off the ball where he feels the most comfortable. He also no longer has to guard lightening quick point guards and leaves that duty for Russel. He enters this season as 6 Ft Over's career leader in rebounds and 3 pointers made.

Fans of 6 Ft Over may recall when Richard "Dick" Dengler was a consistent member of the team. Since it was discovered that Dengler was attempting to do homework for classes that hadn't even started yet, he has been rarely seen in the 6 Ft Over black and grey. The fan favorite still has a spot on the team according to Coach/GM/Player Jeff Reiners.

"The door is always open for Richard. We miss his defensive presence and more importantly his bizzare post game comments. I miss him and the blog misses him."

Richard has not been seen playing the game of basketball for quite a while. Since his move to the U of I, several media outlets have reported that he has spent his time fucking and sucking with local Iowa City women.

"You know me man I like to fuck," Dengler said outside of the Airliner last weekend.

Predicted order of finsh :

1. 10-2 "Dynasty"
2. 8-4 "Snuggie Party"
3. 8-4 "Friedley"
4. 7-5 "Hinkeldey"
5. 6-6 "Friedley"
6. 6-6 "6 Ft Over"
7. 4-8 "The Danny Tanners"
8. 3-9 "Fortune"

Ex 6 Ft Over Player Lends a Helping Hand

(Former 6 Ft Over Sub Brock Ryan pictured in his element.)

Former 6 Ft Over presented by Tailgators player Brock J Ryan lent a helping hand to his former team. With Team Captain Jeff Reiners scheduled at his day job today right up until the 6 pm tipoff Brock stepped in and volunteered to cover the time.

“It’s the least I could do,” said Ryan when reached for comment.

Rumors have circled in the off season that 6 Ft Over has considered bringing Ryan in for a workout and possibly signing him to a free agent deal. Since his contentious release last season Ryan has been spotted on the police blotter more than on the hardwood.

“I’m open to signing with any team. 6 Ft Over or not,” Ryan added.

Ryan likely faces an instant suspension for his DUI arrest. This has been a big factor as teams have showed little interest in the former 4th man of the year candidate.