Prologue - The Roster

Jeff Reiners - Captain and all around slow and out of shape baller. He may shoot 15% from downtown this season. Can't guard anyone. Easily out muscled for rebounds. Large beer belly is most prominent feature.

Brock Ryan- On the team just to fill roster space. Concerns over his conditioning forced the team to place him on the IR. Team says that during contract negotiations Ryan said the only way he would play this season is if emergency personnel was on standby during games.

Greg Breznican- only on the roster to provide a name to meet minimum player requirements to register for league. Contract talks went like this: Jeff turns to Greg "Hey can I put your name on this list just so I can field a team this fall…..you don't even have to play." Greg who was barely listening…."Sure."

Aaron Shupert- the most confident member of the squad. Predicts championship season. The fact that he works out somewhat makes up for overall lack of talent.

Richard "Dick" Dengler - After he serves his drug suspension Dengler will bring Mark Madsen talent to the low post. No offensive moves to speak of. Cannot dribble or shoot a basketball. Personal conduct may lead to future suspensions.