Week 8 - Reiners fined for missing team workout.

Today, Jeff Reiners was a no show at the team’s workout facility at Yellowbook Sweat Shop. No contact was made by Reiners to notify the team so a fine will be handed out and he will likely start off the bench for 6ft Over’s next game. During the bye week, Reiners promised to work on his conditioning but team officials have been very disappointed with his work ethic. No comment has been made by Reiners on this issue.

Reiners Accepts Punishment

A apologetic Reiners issued this statement through his agent :

"I wuz workin' out on my own during the bye week. A teams a team though. I gotta accept my punishment and start off on the bench. I'll be going to the same alcohol counseling as Pacman Jones so I can show my teammates that I'm working to improve myself."

Dengler Flirts Team to Historic Sweep

During the pre-season 6 Feet Over Power Forward Richard Dengler didn't guarantee much. The one thing he did promise was that he would "bang" with the females of the Aegon Rec League when it came to rebounding position. What no one knew was that Dengler actually had us fooled. His plan all along was to "charm" the females and then cut backdoor for easy lay-ups.

6 Feet Over easily handled team "TBD" in the first half of the quadruple header but both games were marked by the odd rapport Dengler developed with the opponents blonde shooting guard. During every check ball situation the game was delayed while Dengler spit mad game to that hoe. Their relationship became somewhat steamy when Dengler received a hard slap from the blonde while driving into the paint. From that point the two exchanged comments relating to the slap that were loaded with sexual innuendo.

After taking care of TBD 15-5 and 15-6 the team had more than an hour to kill before the second half of the quadruple header. Dengler, Shupert and Reiners settled in on the sideline and cheered on Reiners' 8th grade classmate Will Pattison and Denglers favorite blonde shooting guard as they dropped another two games. As the game played out Dengler felt free to share his fantasy relating to his new friend.

"I wouldn't mind if she blew out her knee, I'd get out there are carry her home….or at least to the locker room," said Dengler.

Team 10 didn't offer much of a challenge either. Their team consisted of the usual mix a short non athletes and a 40 something who looked like he may have had some skills 20 years ago.

Dengler stamped his name on Game 4 as well. Perhaps motivated by his new #1 fan or by a hard fouled he received from a scrub on Team 10, Dengler turned into a psuedo-athelete. Ignoring his smoke ravaged lungs Dengler drove hard to the hole, hit the offensive glass with a fury, swatted shots on D and played the game with a passion that was missing prior to his match up with the blonde shooting guard.

6 Feet Over met the historic challenge presented to them by the quadruple header and now it seems nothing will stop them from getting back to the Champs League. A lack of depth may be the squads Achilles heel, however, as they again had to again play shorthanded. Ryan missed Tuesdays action because of the release of another bad Will Ferrell movie. In light of the recent Plaxico Burress suspension Reiners refused to compare 6 Feet Over's situation with that of the New York Giants but did say that an announcement concerning Ryan will be coming soon.

6 Feet Over Accepts Challenge

Coach Jeff Reiners has just signed his team up for a major challenge. The type of challenge the guys have been waiting for all season. At 5:45 6 Feet Over will be taking on a team of overweight, unathletic financial advisers in back to back games. Then the squad will come back at 8 pm and attempt to complete a historic quadruple header by defeating a team of 5 foot 5 loan officers. The MAT team will be in attendance in case of coronary problems.

Week 7 - Injury Report

6 Ft over comes into Week 7 healthy and rested after their bye week. Reiners and Shupert spoke to the media following a morning workout Monday.

"It feels good to get back into the swing of things. I haven't worked out since Monday," said the leagues leading rebounder Aaron Shupert.

"We're getting some guys back from injury and I'm sure we can get right back to our winning ways after the unexpected week off," said Coach Jeff Reiners.

Richard Dengler said he will play tonight and "god willing he won't have a heart attack after two weeks of inactivity and binge drinking."

Brock Ryan is listed as probable for tonight's 8 o'clock tip off. Ryan's appearance is contingent on the 4th man missing his typical evening nap.

Tony Nieland has made a miraculous comeback from his career threatening car accident. He is now back to full strength and ready to plant somebody into the ball rack.

6 Feet Over takes on team "DIA" tonight which I believe stands for Diversified Investment Advisors. They most likely will consist of 3 overweight 40 somethings who stand between 5'7 and 5'9 and 1 moderately athletic 20 something who hasn't played basketball in years.

Ryan Abandons Teammates

Ryan has been downgraded to doubtful for Tuesdays quadruple header. Coach Reiners has been unable to contact the petulant 4th man but was able to get in touch with a person familiar with Brock Ryan. This individual stated that Ryan had left his job early so he could purchase a DVD of the new Will Ferrel movie and was feeling under the weather.

Sal Palantonio Reports Last Minute Injuries

Ryan - Out (Will Ferell)

Nieland- Doubtful(Wife and Kids) ------5:45 only

Dengler- Probable(3 hour shift at work)

…..Sal Palantonio……ESPN

Final Update

Dick tested his smoke damaged lungs and he's going to give it a go tonight.

Ryan is definitely out, coach Reiners is considering imposing a "Marbury" on Ryan preventing him from playing.

Week 6 – Bye week (Pattison working until midnight)

Team Overcomes Injury and Women

It was sloppy. It wasn't pretty. At times it was darn right ugly, but 6 Ft Over grinded out two victories over the undersized "Booze Crew." It looked like it was going to be a long night when pivot man Aaron Shupert appeared to strain his back after the first possession. Shupert stayed in the game because he had no choice. Already short handed because of Tony Neilands tragic car accident the team had to go with a 3 man lineup due to Brock Ryan's scheduled off week. After playing a gritty 6 minutes in Week 4 Ryan decided he needed to "rest his body and mind."

Shupert struggled in the paint in game 1 but his 5'7 defender was no match for him on the glass. For the second straight week Shupert used his strength and size to dominate the undersized competition. Reiners and Dengler contributed with an odd mix of ugly bank shots that somehow went down.

After all the pregame hype regarding Dengler's commitment to "bang" against female competition he was at a loss following the game.

"It's one thing guarding a man and doing this…." Dengler said as he made an awkward swiping motion with his hands that no one understood.

"I was intimidated man, she scored on me twice."

The "Booze Crew" featured an odd red headed player that sported a white cutoff T and appeared somewhat athletic. He unleashed perfect looking lefty jump shots from all over the floor. Coming out of his hand they looked good but he was wildly inconsistent he would drain one from 25 ft and then come down, shoot the same shot and hit nothing but backboard.

6 Ft Over took special pride in shutting "lefty" down in the second game holding him to 2-9 shooting as they ran away with a 15-7 win.

Next up is team "To Be Determined." Nieland is set to come off the DL for next weeks match up and Ryan is expected back at full strength. It appears nothing can stop 6 Ft Over from taking the tile, except maybe some stiff competition.

Week 5- Injury Bug Strikes 6 Ft Over

Bruising power forward and resident tough guy Tony Nieland will miss 2 to 3 weeks with a neck injury. While leaving Saturday's Iowa game Tony was in a car accident involving a drunken fan. Tony and his family escaped serious injury but they all suffered whiplash. Tony promised to inflict serious bodily harm upon the assailant when he becomes healthy.

6 Ft Over will go with a 4 man rotation against the last place "Booze Crew." Contract negotiations with Beau Laughridge have also hit a snag. Brock Ryan promised to slide into Tony's role as enforcer/tough guy.

Coach Reiners expressed no concern regarding this weeks matchup.

"We're going to clean up, no problem, those females better watch out for Dengler."

The Rich Get Richer

Reiners has pulled off another blockbuster signing. On Tuesday morning 6 Ft Over signed an exclusive 3 game deal with Beau Laughridge. Beau will participate in games starting at 8:45 only. The reason Beau can only play at 8:45 is that Beau is a professional cage fighter and trains for hours each day. What that means is that he is in shape, too good of shape for a rec league but hey were talking about a core group of players that endured a 1-15 season last year. They need victories.

"It is getting ridiculous," a rival GM said anonymously. "It's like the Yankees buying up all the talent." "We have no chance, they belong in the competitive league."

6 Ft Over Lays Down the Smack

Just like in Week 1 "Them Guys" were no match for the size, speed and athleticism of 6 Ft Over. In Week 1 a three man lineup showed "Them Guys" and the rest of the rec league that they were playing for keeps. Tuesday was no different.

Game 1 broke league records for biggest blowout and fastest game played. Shupert and Reiners toyed with the opposition working the screen and pop game to perfection like a poor mans D-Will/Boozer. "Them Guys" visibly tired after the second possession and it was off to the races. Reiners, Dengler and Shupert ran the weave up and down the court with the ball rarely hitting the floor. When the smoke cleared it was 15-2. Two things were surprising in Game 1. First the opposition managed to score 2 points. Secondly their first substitute entered the game and looked like he had dressed up like Jess Settles for Halloween and never changed.

6 Ft Over opened Game 2 attempting to show off its new found depth. Ryan and Tony started alongside Dengler. Ryan was unable to recapture the magic of his first appearance against a defense that was focused on stopping him.

"We knew Ryan changed the momentum last week so we were determined not to let him beat us," said Jess Settles of Them Guys. "It was just the rest of them were too big and strong."

6 Ft Over's other free agent Tony Nielend played well despite being held scoreless. Tony fills the role of enforcer ala Bill Laimbeer. Opponents attempting to show Tony up by dribbling by him or taking a shot over him are met with a subtle bump and intimidating glare.
Game 2 was getting a bit out of control after a missed dunk, yes dunk attempt by Richard Dengler. Rich balanced out the second unit with his normal array of hustle plays, CP3 crosses, failed alley oops and offensive rebounds.

With Ryan verging on cardiac arrest Shupert checked into the game and decided that he was Moses Malone. Down 7-4 Shupert went to the post for 2 quick buckets. Reiners buried a 20 footer and banked one in from the wing and 6 Ft Over was in command. Now in the lead 6 Ft Over rode Moses to the finish line. If he wasn't hitting the offensive glass for put backs Shupert was on the defensive end tomahawking flatfooted jump shots from 40 yr olds like Shaquille O'Neal playing with his kids.

The end came on a 3 on 1 fast break. Ryan attempted his now patented behind the back pass although this time it was well behind his target. Shupert, running the left wing, managed to get a hand on it and tip it back to Reiners who then instantly shoveled it back in to Shupert for the deuce. With that 6 Ft Over moved to 7-1.

Dengler exited without comment. Teammates indicated he was upset about his pregame comments being publicized.

Ryan muttered to himself, "My lungs are burning and I barely played."

Shupert and Dengler gathered in the locker room and debated if they should drink a 40oz beer for each victory.

"Two wins, two 40's," Shupert reasoned.

Next week 6 Ft Over battles a team containing female Aegon employees. Dengler promised prior to the season to play against them with reckless abandon. It should be fun to watch.

Week 4 - Dengler Sits Down For Interview

Richard Dengler spoke briefly with reporters following 6 Ft Over's morning shoot around. Decked out head to toe in incredibly expensive Jordan Brand gear Dengler stepped to the microphone and stated the following :

"I'm going to be throwin bows in there. Accidentally or not. Who ever gets in my way the first time I post up is getting they nose broke."

"I put down the smoke and limited the drank this weekend. I want to be sure to get this W Tuesday cuz we messin people up."

With that Dengler left the podium and drove off in his conversion van. When hearing of Denglers comments 4th Man Brock Ryan stated,

"This is the Aegon Rec league. We don't need broken noses. Dengler needs to focus on making a high percentage of his layups. I'm glad he is getting over his drug problems though."


(Dengler's comments were not made up by the author)

6 Ft Over Not Concerned About Week 4

The week 4 contest between 6 Ft Over and "Them Guys" will be a rematch of the week 1 blowout. In week one 6 Ft Over blasted "Them Guys" in two straight blowouts. In those games the team played without their newest sensation 6th man of the year candidate Brock Ryan.

During his weekly press conference coach Reiners was asked if the team was underestimating "Them Guys."

"Look I don't know much about Them Guys….except for that their in trouble."

If 6 Ft Over wins both games, as expected, they will be 7-1 heading into their week five showdown against the "Booze Crew.

The Booze Crew features those female employees that Dengler has no fear of.

"Can't wait man, can’t wait to bang," Dengler said when reached for comment.

Week 3 - Ryan Shows Up, Steals Show

6 Ft Over's dynamic playmaker Brock Ryan made quite a splash in his season debut Tuesday night. After being cleared by team physicians just 1 hour prior to the game Ryan made his 1st appearance in game 1 with the score tied at 4. Suddenly the squad turned into the Showtime Lakers. Ryan streaked down the left side of floor past the exhausted opposition, received a bounce pass from Reiners and layed it in like James Worthy circa 1987.

And then he did it again…..and again. Ryan scored on 3 consecutive lay-ups and added a silky smooth jumper for good measure.

With the game out of reach it happened…..on a play that will simply be known as "the pass."

The 6 Ft Over bench was roaring as the squad game up with a steal. Ryan pushed the fast break up the left side of the floor with Dengler to his right. Looking like a young Magic Johnson Ryan kept a shoulder high dribble with his left, yes his left hand. After drawing the defender in the air with a quick shoulder fake Ryan, in one perfect motion, whipped the ball behind his back to Dengler, right on the money. The gym exploded in amazement as Dengler rose to finish the easy two but managed to only hit the bottom of the rim and backboard. Blown lay-up, amazing play.

Following the second victory Ryan was too exhausted to comment on his play only adding as he walked out that,

"(My) legs feel like jelly."

While the night belonged to Ryan other team members contributed to the duel 15-12 wins. Center Aaron Shupert contributed with his normal mix of out of control freight train drives to the hole and aggressive offensive rebounding. During one sequence in Game 2 Shupert suddenly transformed himself into Dennis Rodman grabbing 3 straight offensive rebound before essentially finish off the opponent.

Dengler struggled with several missed lay-ups. Besides the aforementioned "pass" Dengler blew a perfect lob pass in game 1 that he caught with two hands about 3 ft below the rim and smashed off the glass. Rich's highlight came when he blew past his 48 year old defender for a lay-up with a hesitation move to his left ala Dwade, albeit a slower whiter Dwade.

During a jubilant post game celebration in the 6 Ft Over locker room Dengler described his play.

"That was my CP3/Wade teardrop crossover man. Put that in your report Reiners," Dengler exclaimed to raucous laughter.

Ryan privately questioned Dengler's sobriety and commitment to the team following that comment.

The hot start has made 6 Ft Over early title contenders in Aegon Rec league. Unlike the Premier league the Rec league does not include a playoff. Shupert and Reiners discussed Tuesday during a team meal about proposing a "unsanctioned" championship series between the teams that finish 1 and 2.

"We're ready baby, five and one. No more rec league next year boys, we're going to the Premier league, the majors ain't ready," Shupert stated as he got into his Buick and exited the arena.

Week 2 -6 Feet Over Moves to 3-1

The dream of a undefeated season was dashed but 6 Feet Over improved it's overall record to 3-1. In game one 6 Feet Over destroyed their opponents with a barrage of long jump shots and fast break lay-ups. Easily shooting over 65% the squad's confidence reached an all-time high following game 1.

Super sub Brock Ryan again was a no show at tip off. He was last seen wolfing down hot wings and enjoying opening night in the NBA. The lack of a substitute was the downfall in game 2. After jumping out to a 11-4 lead the starters hit the proverbial wall. Reiners no longer had his legs as his jump shot no longer could catch rim. Shupert appeared to be wearing concrete shoes and Dengler huffed and puffed up the court at the speed of a 65 year old man.

After the loss a distraught Aaron Shupert retreated to the solitude of the hallway.

"I take the blame for the loss," Shupert stated before launching a profanity laced tirade against his opponents.

"Them fools callin' over the back fouls in pick-up basketball, come on! In the 2nd game they were fouling intentionally to prevent lay-ups. I'm pissed!"

Reiners acknowledged the intentional fouling in his post game comments.

"This is the rec league where fouling is supposed to be limited. I wanted to foul them back but I was too exhausted from carting my beer belly up and down the floor."

Despite the tough loss spirits remain high in the 6 Feet Over locker room. Reiners is rumored to be recruiting a couple animals to strengthen the teams bench for next week.

Richard Dengler offered his insight on the weeks action.

"I felt good coming in to the game even after a weekend that included more smoke than drink. I was ready to bang man."

Week 1 - 6 Ft Over Doubles Previous Win Total

Two drunks and a drug addict were all 6 Ft over needed to double last seasons win total. Playing without the conditionally challenged Brock Ryan the squad easily defeated a team full of slow middle aged men twice. Reiners was able to shrug off his 228lb frame and bury several key 3 pointers. Dick Dengler discovered his inner athlete and stunned the middle agers with his aggressive play on the boards. Shupert occasionally turned into Karl Malone on a fast break.

"Last year we weren't ready for the competition" said Aaron Shupert. "This year the rec league is in trouble."

Rich Dengler followed through on his double double guarantee (it took both games to achieve the feat).

"I was real excited to get out here man." Dengler said. "I was surprised how well we held up coming off a weekend bender man."

Dengler made it known that he is willing to battle under the boards with female Aegon employees several times.

"I don't care who you are man, I'm getting aggressive" Dengler kept repeating.

The team moved to 2-0 on the year. It's a good start but it may be too early to gloat. The opposition featured two 280lb behemoths with no talent or conditioning. Their guards refused to shoot the ball nor would they contest shots on defense. Still 2-0 feels good after last years 1-15 campaign.

Prologue - The Roster

Jeff Reiners - Captain and all around slow and out of shape baller. He may shoot 15% from downtown this season. Can't guard anyone. Easily out muscled for rebounds. Large beer belly is most prominent feature.

Brock Ryan- On the team just to fill roster space. Concerns over his conditioning forced the team to place him on the IR. Team says that during contract negotiations Ryan said the only way he would play this season is if emergency personnel was on standby during games.

Greg Breznican- only on the roster to provide a name to meet minimum player requirements to register for league. Contract talks went like this: Jeff turns to Greg "Hey can I put your name on this list just so I can field a team this fall…..you don't even have to play." Greg who was barely listening…."Sure."

Aaron Shupert- the most confident member of the squad. Predicts championship season. The fact that he works out somewhat makes up for overall lack of talent.

Richard "Dick" Dengler - After he serves his drug suspension Dengler will bring Mark Madsen talent to the low post. No offensive moves to speak of. Cannot dribble or shoot a basketball. Personal conduct may lead to future suspensions.