6ft Over Drops to 1 and 4, Hopes Still Alive to Reach .500

6ft Over entered Tuesday nights contest completely outmanned for the 4th time this season. Despite his promise to fulfill 6ft Over’s need for a sub, Trent Ryan was last seen passed out on the couch before the game. Richard Dengler had this to say, “Man, when I left he was passed out in his boxers with his head buried in the couch, there was no hope for me to get him up.”

Coach Reiners was also a no-show for the game sighting a “family emergency” as his reason for absence. Apparently little Avery would have been unable to care for herself while her mother was working. Reiners weak attempts at finding a babysitter failed and he was forced to stay home and break his team record for consecutive games played. Shupert now holds the record despite a team high in injuries. Shupert started the game with a knee stabilizer, an ankle brace, and a bruised ego from last weeks loss.

On a brighter note, 6ft Over signed former Colligate basketball star Nick Hach prior to the game. Nick provided a low post presence that 6ft Over has never really had. However, because Nick was new to the squad and didn’t have any time to warm up before the game, team chemistry was thrown off in the first half. 6ft Over was stuck at 10 points for at least 6 minutes while the Wisconsin Badgers went on a 20-0 run. “Nicolas Cage” from the Badgers was raining threes ala Ben Gordon the entire game. It didn’t matter if he was guarded, fading away or 4 feet behind the 3 point line, Nick Cage was stroking his shots.

At half time 6ft Over made some defensive adjustments and Hach carried the team to rally to within 9 points. Several drives, and ones, post moves, ally oops, and one monster fast break slam dunk and Hach had 6 ft Over feeling good when they took a timeout with 6 minutes left down by 11. By this time the Wisconsin Badgers realized that they needed to double down on Hach and 6ft Over failed to take advantage by continuing to miss wide open 15 foot jumpers. Player Coach Jeff Reiners would have been a real asset in this game, the one player on 6ft Over that has a semi-consistent jump shot could have made the Badgers pay and the game could have been a different story. At the end of the game 6ft Over only managed to put up 71 points and lost by 12.

After the game Shupert amazingly walked away without further injuring himself. Hasenmiller suggested having a team practice once a week where 6ft Over could work on their shooting a chemistry. Richard Dengler promptly shot this idea down saying, “Man, I would but I’m busy man, I got stuff going on all the time.” One would wonder what Dengler is really doing, he has already denied getting f**ked or s**ked and with no school or serious career, it's hard to fathom what keeps him so busy.

Reiners Signs Hach to 10 Day Contract

6 Ft Over Drops Heartbreaker

Prior to making his 1st appearance in almost 2 full seasons Brock Ryan had no reason to believe he would instantly become the league leader in minutes played per game. With a bench as inconsistent as 6 Ft Over's it shouldn't have been a surprise that Ryan logged a grueling 40 minutes in last nights action.

For the 2nd consecutive week 6 Ft Over took on a formidable opponent with only 4 somewhat bodies. Usual starter Justin Hasenmiller was excused from Tuesdays game for reasons not disclosed. That left Reiners, Dengler, a banged up Shupert and Brock Ryan fresh from his academic suspension.

Things started well for the team as Shupert and Dengler hit the glass hard and Ryan dropped in a couple of long distance bombs. Fatigue began to set in once the team reached 20 points at the 11 minute mark of the 1st half. For the last 11 minutes of that half 6 Ft Over would score only 5 points and trailed 29-20 heading into the 2nd.

Team Yellowbook went to work in the post to begin the 2nd half. One of the strangest players ever encountered in any of these contests dominated 6 Ft Over for long stretches last night. Think Stan Van Gundy in his early 30's, compacted into a 5-7 body, wearing a brand new authentic Derrick Rose jersey and stinking of bad body odor. Despite his appearance lil Stan had slippery hesitation post moves a la Pau Gasol and a running left handed sky hook that he used very effectively.

Shupert suffered a myriad of injuries last night to go along with his already sprained right ankle. Add strained MCL and a hyper extended finger to the injury list. Despite the physical difficulties Shupert paced 6 Ft Over in the 2nd half and played a key part in one of the games defining plays.

Trailing by 1 point with 20 seconds left 6 Ft Over was forced to foul the aforementioned lil Stan sending him to the line for 2 shots. He promptly missed both shots and Shupert secured the rebound. While dribbling up the court Shupert was stripped from behind by his defender who secured to loose ball and proceeded to throw a pass directly to Reiners. Reiners intercepted the pass and threw it down court Shupert. In the most awkward game changing shot in the history of basketball Shupert tosses a lob to Brock Ryan who catches the pass, his feet off of the ground by a good 6 inches, and tosses in a bank shot to put 6 Ft Over up 1 with 6 seconds to go. 6 seconds turned out to be too much time as the opposition called timeout setup a play, isolated their best ball handler at the top of the key and dropped in a shot at the buzzer to win it by 1. Disappointing loss, great game for the fans. If 6 Ft Over can secure 1 or 2 subs for any of the remaining game they should be able to turn this season around.

Shorthanded 6 Ft Over Downed by Old Men

At one point yesterday afternoon 6 Ft Over appeared to have a 7 man rotation going into Tuesday nights game. That would be too many 6 Ft Over management said. Someone would have to stay home. The problem was that none of the subs showed up for the game. We had 3 subs, dismissed 1 and got 0 come game time.

Imagine Phil Jackson having this problem. Minutes before tip off and Lamar Odom, Sasha Vujacic and Luke Walton are missing. Sorry Phil you're going with the starting five all 48 minutes tonight buddy.

Despite the short bench 6 Ft Over had a decent offensive game scoring a season high 70 points. Defensively it was another story as they surrendered 91. It is difficult to describe the shooting performance that team "No D" put on last night. They were absolutely unconscious from mid-range and beyond. 3 of their 5 players could knock down jump shots from everywhere regardless of how well they were defended. Their unofficial team field goal percentage realistically would be between 70 and 80%.

"We're 1 and 2. It's not time to hang our heads," Aaron Shupert said to reporters.

Shupert may have suffered a serious ankle injury in last nights contest and will undergo a MRI this afternoon to determine the extent of the damage.

On a brighter note team equipment manager Morgan Ryan delivered 6 Ft Over's new look grey jerseys just prior to game time. Replica 6 Ft Over jerseys go on sale today if fans are interested.

6 Ft Over Arrives Late, Leaves Early

June 2nd 2009

Helen G. Nassif YMCA


Things started late and ended early for 6 Ft Over during their 2nd week of YMCA league action. Coach Shupert was forced to start recent signee Beau Laughridge due to the late arrival of normal starting forward Richard Dengler. Coach Shupert was none pleased with the behavior of his young forward and announced an immediate punishment.

"Richard Dengler didn't start tonight nor will he start next Tuesday," an irritated Shupert declared to the press.

Dengler himself did not comment except to deny the accusation that he was fucking or getting sucked by a bitch, causing him to be late.

"Man if I were (fucking) I'd tell you guys," Dengler stated.

Despite Beau's surprise start 6 Ft Over stayed close to team Fast Break in the first half. Helped by a few line drive jumpshots by the aforementioned Laughridge the team only trailed by a small margin going into half time.

Little to 6 Ft Over's knowledge their opposition on this night included a Tyler Hansborough look-a-like and an asian kid who looked like he belonged in a local chess tournament yet had the ability to sink jump shots from all over the floor.

Despite their opponents advantages 6 Ft Over grabbed a modest lead early in the 2nd half. Things looked good when Tyler Hansborough Jr. headed to the mens room to take a shit with 7:35 to go.

Hansborough Jr. never returned from the crapper but his team didn't need him. Fast Breaks's other players decided to make a few lay-ups and 6 Ft Over shot 0-17 to close out the contest.

The loss leaves 6 Ft Over's season looking cloudy. Yes their are teams in this league that contain 5-9 35 year olds with beer bellies but it also contains teams with 6-6 Division 1 Basketball players that you would recognize from ESPN.

Despite the increase in competition 6 Ft Over remains confident and looks forward to beating on the old men and getting beat on by the 6-6 brothers that dunk from where ever they want.